Such the drama queen am I!!! Oh you know you love it! But what can you expect from a pregnant female, especially one that is Irish, a Gemini, chuck-full of McAffee blood, and any other excuses I can quickly pull out of my hat?
I'm gonna have to be flatout honest here. And you may think me a horrible person. Just know that I am SO excited for this baby, I can hardly stand to wait for it. I talk and sing to my belly like a crazy person, but I have to tell you that I have not felt much JOY in the physical state of pregnancy. Joy and elation for the upcoming baby, but being pregnant in and of itself isn't fun. Holy cow that sounds horrible, and I hate even saying it. But there have been some very miserable times.
And perhaps I should backup to give you some background as. Perhaps I never listened much (hee hee) or just didn't pay attention in my typical feather-brained fashion, but I swear all I've ever heard is how WONDERFUL pregnancy is. All of these women have just protested how happy they were being pregnant and how they just L-O-V-E-D it! Now I'm not a TOTAL moron, yes I've heard of the morning sickness and being tired but perhaps no one who had it rough really gave me much details or it just didn't stick. And it is different for each woman, even each pregnancy I've heard…but I can't think about that now…have to just focus on this one for now lol.
Well and I wasn't expecting it to be easy for me, I mean my goodness I'm as big as a cow. What right have I to expect to coast through it all? I thought I knew what I was getting into. Of course I wanted to wait until I was at a better weight, but with my age, I just could no longer ignore that biological clock! I read up on it before we tried, and mostly its hard on the mother-its just harder to deliver and your recoup time is longer because you aren't in as good of shape. But the baby is just fine, so we went for it! And I don't regret it one bit. I KNOW IT'S WORTH IT.
Just wish I'd heard more people tell me how miserable it can be and maybe I wouldn't have been so surprised lol. Oh all you mothers out there, my hats off to you SERIOUSLY.
HERE ARE THE BIG WHINERS COMPLAINTS (some of which have subsided):
- Utter complete exhaustion (ha just wait until the baby wakes up every hour every night lol)
- Back/neck aching
- Nausea all day and night
- Severe heartburn & acid reflux
- Strange choking sensation
TOP HORROR MOMENTS:
- Public Vomiting #1 Incident: So I'm talking to a coworker in the parking lot and had just said goodbye…walking towards my car and I realize the nausea and choking feeling can't be controlled. I just let it rip right there in the middle of the parking lot, people walking all around me. I just kind of yelled "I'm sorry I'm pregnant!" I don't throw up in front of people, how disgusting! I was so humiliated. I did it twice more before getting to my car in a poor tree that I'm afraid may never be quite the same. Then I had to open the car door and do it 3 more times before I could drive home. I just cried and cried. I laugh about it now and wave at the tree when I pass it now.
- Public Vomiting #2: (This was actually the next morning lol). So I'm bummed about going to work anyway because Adam is off. He is such a dear and makes me breakfast usually, but he was asleep and I was just craving those Hardees biscuits that Carl's Jr has so I went there and got a sandwich. Now with my choking thing and my asthma etc, I have to chew really really slowly. I was foolish to be eating in the car anyway really. So I took a small bite and suddenly a small piece of the biscuit fell down my throat. This triggered choking obviously and then I had as asthma attack and couldn't get any air, all as I'm just about to turn left onto 10600 South. So I pulled over to some car place and wasn't quite sure what to do. Should I take a drink, get my inhaler….my body decided to throw-up and holy cow I did for some time in that parking lot with people driving by giving me strange looks. It was pretty scary actually. I throw up very violently (sorry to be so graphic) and it just makes me cry and my face turns red and I get a horrible headache and just lose control. It's quite miserable actually.
OH BOO HOO!
I know people have had it so much worse, and I should just be thankful I'm pregnant and am so blessed. And I really am blessed, may I understand completely that I am.
CHOKING THING:
The doctor is pretty concerned about this. It is so strange. I can't wear certain shirts, seat belts, and I'm constantly feeling like someone is choking me. I gag and throwup quite often, but most the time its dry-heaving. Thank heaven the nausea I used to also have has subsided so I can deal with it.
I did go to the ENT for a scope and he sees nothing. He wants to go to a GI for a scope of the esophagus as he is afraid with the scar tissue from so much vomiting that one day I'll choke on food and end up having that procedure on an emergency base. The problem is that the scope is bad for baby, so OB and I both agreed not to risk it. If they found anything, the problem is they can't do much when you are pregnant.
So I'm just really really careful. I have the choking feeling almost all the time, but I just have to be kind of slow with moving so I don't gag etc, and just take very small bites and always have water. I can deal with it *sobs*. Just kidding I really can I know. Poor Adam. He is such a dear to put up with me and is so patient. I try to keep it in, but I feel like all I do is complain. He assures me I'm not a bad mother.
THE BABY:
I know so many women who are having problems getting pregnant or who have lost babies, and my heart goes out to them. I cry when I think about it. I'm so grateful that God has blessed me with a loving husband, my job, my family, Adam's family, a house, and especially this BABY!!!!! Oh I can't wait to hold it and kiss it and play with its tiny little toes! Such a miracle and a blessing.
The important thing is that the baby is healthy!
