On Track and Happy

Last Week’s Stats

 

Go me!  Can I just tell you FitBit is awesome!

What I Do

The 10,000 steps daily is not easy just to be honest.  It requires 3 mini workouts every day (except Sunday my off today).  So I work out in the morning –I especially love the mornings I work out with Lisa, my bestie that lives across the street.  Then in the afternoon I take my darling daughter Sammi walking. That kid has some energy!  I can’t believe how much she can walk.  It’s good for both of us to get some fresh air, and it’s wonderful how it is not as cold out.

The biggest thing is my attitude.  Every day instead of seeming miserable as I can’t eat foods I want is instead another day I get healthier.  It’s an awesome feeling!

Today’s Workout

I have to say I’m really proud of my workout today with Lyndsay (Monday’s trainer).  She had me walk up and down hills again.  When we did this a couple of week’s ago, I could only go up the hill one time without stopping and it seriously nearly killed me (well it felt like it anyway).  But today, I went up it without stopping in between THREE times.  I guess I’m super proud of that.  Yeah me!

I’m actually seeing progress.  I started with a whoppin’ speed on the treadmill of 1.7 and now I have it at 2.4.  It’s exciting.  You have to keep challenging yourself or you are wasting your time.

My Poor Baby

 

Look what my poor angel did at the babysitter’s.  Mean ol’ wall!  I thought it was going to be stitches or something, but we were lucky.  Ibuprofen, popsicles, and lots of cuddling and she was fine.  She is one tough cookie!

Sammi is my biggest motivation right now.  I want to be there as she grows up, and I want to be able to keep up with her and take her hiking.  I want her to be healthy and have a long good life.  I love my baby!

 

I must be on crack!

Seriously can’t believe I’m attempting the 10,000 daily steps challenge.  That is basically 4 ½ miles for me and translates to 90-120 minutes of working out lol.  Adam was teasing me last night as I grumbled through the last 1,000 and  was saying “You don’t really have to do this”.

But I replied saying “Oh yes I do!  I never do anything I say I’m going to do (when it comes to fitness), so come hell or hi water, I’m doing 10,000 steps every day until my work challenge is over”.  The only exception will be on our anniversary trip (but I’ll still aim for it).  And the only other excuse that I will accept for myself is if I’m throwing up or dead.  So there you go.

CRAZY WORKOUT

So basically I do a workout in the morning just me or with Lisa.  Then I go walking with Sammi in the afternoon (it’s so cute-she loves talking to her shadow that she recently discovered) and then a workout with Adam (my hubby) at night.

It’s only been since Monday and I feel half-dead.  But I’m going to do it if it kills me (and believe me, it feels like it will lol).

SUCCESS!

I lost 4 pounds this past week so total I’ve lost 16 pounds.

I’m very proud of that.  YEAH ME!!

I’m in the Z-O-N-E!!!!!!

No Brain, No Pain!

If that statement is true, then I am one of the smartest people on the planet.  Okay not really but it sure FEELS like it.

I came up with something new (me and my big ideas).  I joined my work’s Biggest Loser contest to see who can lose the biggest percentage of weight by June 14^th.  I then realized since I’m like 2-3 times (sounds like an exaggeration, oh I wish it was lol) bigger than most of my associates, I’ve got my work cut out for me.  And damnit, I will be the Biggest Loser somewhere!

So I’m kicking it up a notch.  The goal – lose 50 pounds by June 14^th.  I want to be 375.  Oh how sweet that will be.  I can just taste it (sheesh I turn everything into food, even a dream lol).  And how will I do this?  It’s as easy as 1-2-3.

1-       Drink a hella lot of water

2-      Follow meal plan

3-      Walk 10,000 steps a day

Now let me just tell you that #3 is kicking my ass already.  My husband and I bought these FitBit pedometers which are awesome!  And then I get this hair-brained idea to walk 10,000 steps a day – starting yesterday.

And it may seem easy, but on average I get about 3000 steps a day  normally lol.  So yeah, I’m kicking up a whole freaking lot of notches!  It’s about 3 30 minute workouts a day to get it.  That’s a lot for me ya’ll.  So yesterday I was with the trainer so that was somewhat easier.  I got in a bunch of steps before she came walking as a warm-up.  Then she had me walk up and down a big hill 7 times.  Then I did 30 minutes on the treadmill after that.

My plan for today:  I already did a 30 minute workout.  I’m going to take Sammi on a long walk @ Jordan Parkway and then do whatever I need to after that to get 10,000

Come Kiss me Cupcake!

Comfort Food

Have you ever sat back and wondered why you got fat – I mean other than NOT putting the damn fork down?  Or like why you EAT?

I can’t speak for all women, but some of you may relate to this.  Food is a COMFORT!

                                                  

I used to think I ate because my bed was empty (besides me ha ha)……the whole not being married thing.  I mean back in my “religious days”, I’d basically been past all hope for like 15 years before I got married.  Now I’m very happily married with the most beautiful toddler in the world and yet I still really wanna big bag of little donuts (that one is for you Allison) and sweet and fattening stuff ALL the time.

I remember at the lowest point of my life – I remember it was Mother’s Day and at first was laughing at how my life was a country song (Mama’s in the graveyard, Papa’s in the Pen)…and then I went and binge ate until I just cried and felt worse, but during that time of eating, it was like the only thing I could control and the only pleasure I could find in my life (so pathetic and sad).

Sometimes there are just so many reasons to eat…

What a Rebel…

I think part of it is my rebellious, obstinate nature that doesn’t like people telling me what to do like ever lol.  In fact I try to do the exact opposite when that happens. 3 examples:

#1 Mom:  My mom worried about my weight, because she knew I had the same tendency as her.  I got my body from her after all-small on top, bigger on the bottom (especially a big bottom lol).  She hounded on me when I went to my best friend next door (Jill), to only have 1 piece of whatever while my friend (a stick) had like 4-6.  It just seemed so unfair to me and annoying.  So when my mom started working outside of the home, I started seriously gaining because I could have as many pieces as I wanted and she would never know! (that was kind of before the whole hidden camera era lol).
#2 Grandma Dyer:  On one visit I just snapped when she got on her whole ‘oh you have a beautiful face, if you could just lose weight….’ bullshit, I just had it.  I basically told her that I knew she was trying to say things out of love but that what she was doing was NOT helping – it just made me go by extra value meals and eat lots of ice cream because that’s what fat people do when we feel bad.  I told her that if she wasn’t going to pay for me to go on Jenny Craig or something then to shut the hell up (of course I sad it ‘somewhat’ nicer).  I then told her verbatim “Besides, fat people get married ALL the time!” (and actually I showed her years later that statement was true-ha ask me the story of when she asked me what color my dress was going to be.  I was tempted to tell her bright red with the word ‘WHORE’ on the back)  She never brought up the weight thing again after that outburst. (I’m sure my Mom & Grandma are up there laughing about this-at least I hope!)

#3 Primary Care Physician:  So my former doctor was young, gorgeous, thin, and well just obnoxious (not just for those qualities).  Her answer to ALL of my ailments was to lose weight.  I started having serious back problems and again she told me she would do nothing because of my weight and told me that I’m MORBIDLY OBESE (ask me how much I love that phrase!***cringes***).  So again, something in me snapped (trust me peeps I’m a Gemini and though people usually think I’m all sunshine and butterflies, the bitch gets released sometimes and if you witness it, my apologies and simply RUN FOR COVER!!!!).  After her telling me I was morbidly obese I said in my most smartassy (cuz that’s a word!) voice “REALLY?  I’m fat.  OMG, I had no idea!”.  She looked at me completely dumbfounded, not knowing what to do.  I don’t think medical school prepares them for this bitch.  I then just basically told her that I thought it was funny that people are sure quick on the gun to point out your problem, like you don’t know it!  Like do they think this is new information?  Oh, is that why it hurts so much to walk and why my back and feet hurt and why I never date (back in my single days).  Like I have this circus mirror in my house that elongates my body and special order my clothes to where they take off the first digit or something? (RANT ALERT….well that’s really the whole blog).  I told her it was especially annoying with doctors because they can’t even help with obesity because insurance won’t cover your visit if that is the diagnosis (irony).

How do you stop your old habits? I’m trying these:

·       Focusing on my goals/dreams

·       Working out, taking a walk when I get urges

Fat Kids

Were You One?

 I actually didn’t have a bad body image until sixth grade.  I wasn’t really overweight up until that point.  I had pretty slim waist and arms, but was big hipped and a big ol’ booty!  (I am pretty infamous for my shelf-butt-like seriously my toddler Sammi can sit on it).

Some boys started picking on me – it was a rough year for me because I developed pretty early for that day and age and was battling all the womanhood “blessings”.  I had the nerdy coke-bottle glasses that made my eyes like 3 times their normal size.  Nerd Alert!  So they started tormenting me about my caboose. 

Hippo in Tights

Then in dance class I started noticing a difference between the other girls and myself.  I was a whole lot taller, but I was so much bigger the bottom half of me than any of them.  Yet I was completely healthy!  I inherited bigger legs from my mom – they were even muscular from all my bike-riding and soccer playing (this was well before the X box era) I need to find a picture of me in this blue leotard though and I was seriously the skinniest I have ever been in my entire life! But compared to these naturally size 0 girls, I felt like such a heifer! 

How sad is that!  I wish they could teach things like that in school – how to be happy with who you are and having good self-esteem because I stressed over that the rest of my school years.  Especially when I actually did start gaining weight.

There was a lot of ‘bullying’ that I was subjected to when I walked home from junior high for example.  It was pretty horrible to be honest.  It breaks my heart to think of other kids going through this right now for being different whether its because they are larger, have a big nose, or whatever it may be.  All joking aside, I would love to maybe after this journey talk to kids about self-esteem and believing in themselves.

Lessons Learned

Come to think of it, I still have these issues, and it’s worse now because I actually am “Morbidly Obese”  (too bad you can’t hear my voice how I say that!)

And it’s funny because as a heavy person you get sad a lot about it, and what do you do when you are sad?  You eat, therefore making the problem worse! 

But I’m on the right path and I’m so happy about that.  I’m not perfect and that’s okay.  I am sticking to it and that is what counts.  And I’m getting more happy about things!  I’m not so mad about things I can’t have.  I’m realizing my dreams are WAY more important than my CRAVINGS/URGES.

I continue this journey with my head held up high because I know I can do it.

I like it Rough.....

(Don’t we all honey?!)

This journey requires a lot of self-analysis and reflection in order to achieve ultimate success. It’s never easy.

I notice whenever I have a cheat meal, it’s INCREDIBLY hard to get back to the main meal plan.  Part of that may be carb addiction, but part of it is my ultra-lame habit of saying I’ll start a diet on Monday which would result in major pig-fests.

So to correct this, perhaps I just need to work on having a cheat and enjoying it and then going back to meal plans automatically – it will become a habit ultimately. 

Workin’ It

My arms workout with Lyndsey yesterday was incredible.  Those masochists can really introduce you to a new meaning of the word P-A-I-N than you have every experienced, and you PAY them for it (must be crazy).  I was proud of myself as I did more than she expected and did 30 minutes cardio after so kuDOS. 

Nobody Better Lay a Finger on My Attitude!

I had sort of an epiphany (though I’m not sure how to spell it).  I just realized in my workout that I’m looking at things so wrong, focusing on how HARD everything is.  And I know I will continue to moan and complain, but I hope I can look at the light of this long, stinky tunnel and realize the Beast will be gone.  I can become the woman I want to be.  Time will go by anyway, whether I stick with this or not.  I can continue to be miserable and let this affect me so horribly, or I can be healthy and happy. (that is easy to say, but harder to really act on). 

Biggest Loser

My work is doing a contest to see who can lose the most weight in a few weeks.  Let me just tell you now.  I AM GOING TO BE THE BIGGEST DAMN LOSER!!!!

                 

SAMMI

                                   

I’m saving the best for last!  My world is my wonderful husband and my baby Sammi.  This is what makes the pain all worth it.  Watch this adorable video of her and her “La La” which she will dance to for hours!

 

           

The Lies They Tell

Sex, Lies, & Videotape

Ha ha, got your attention! So today’s topic is really Health Lies.  Okay maybe they aren’t really lies and are totally true, but they SO do not feel true-be prepared for a little tongue and cheek ya’ll-let’s cozy up.

LIE #1:  Exercise makes you feel great and full of energy!

                              

Do you believe that?  Work out and you will be bouncing around like the energizer bunny!  You will have more energy than you even know what to do with!  They say it, so it must be true right?  OMG seriously?  What idiot believes that!  I’m sorry, but that is SO not true.  For instance, my trainer Thomas killed me (at least it felt like it) in last night’s workout, so during cardio with my BFF Lisa this morning I was feeling ANYTHING but great PEEPS.  And energy!!!!  I don’t know what that word means.

Okay yes I’m proud of myself when I exercise yeah, but don’t lie to us.  I just want instead for people to say “Exercise, it hurts like hell but it’s worth it.”  Like at least be honest.

But maybe it’s a fat thing.  You know like when you laugh at things you shouldn’t like when a skater falls during a performance (Oh come on, its just a tad bit funny you KNOW it)?  So its similar when you are watching the Biggest Loser and they are crying on the treadmill.  Now I know you laugh a little, even I do.  But seriously I know why they are crying.  Bodies made by KFC are not accustomed to the treadmill.

LIE#2:  Drinking water helps you feel more full!

                             

Well totally!  Why when I’m hungry I just have me a couple cups o’ H20 and I’m good to go for the day.  I can’t even begin to describe how NOT true this is for me.  When I’m hungry and feeling empty, I have some water and I just feel even more empty, like there is nothing there at all.  Do you know what I mean!  Maybe I’m the only one.

And don’t even get me started on water.  I am drinking more of it and I get it.  I know it’s healthy blah blah blah.  I’m no scientist, but sometimes the logistics just don’t make sense.  If my body is 60% water and I’m trying to lose 50% of my water, WHY SHOULD I BE ADDING TO IT?????  (so logical I know-hold your applause).

No one can make up their mind how much we should even drink.  WebMD says that the whole ‘8 glasses a day thing’ isn’t even based on scientific evidence, and is really more of a guideline (hello I feel  Pirate joke coming on).  Per Mayo Clinic I should be drinking 11.5 cups.  Then I checked out about.nutrition.com and they actually have a little survey you feel out.  Guess how much I should be drinking a day?  210 ounces.  Yes 210 ounces.  That is 26 cups!!!  So you’ll recognize me, I’ll be the one walking around hooked up to a garden hose.  And watch out for your swimming pool cuz that will only last me a week or so!

LIE #3:  Eating healthy makes you feel healthy.

                             

Hmmm, now I am the first to admit that when you go overboard the other direction you do not feel good at all.  But just let me tell you when I’m drinking all this water and fiber etc, you just don’t even want to know the funky pains and bathroom trips.  I know it’s good for my body, but it don’t feel like it!

 All in good fun!