365 Days of Hell – Day 11

Recap:

My name is Holly Holt. I am a foodaholic (no applause please). I have been rejected thrice for the Biggest Loser and wasn’t chosen for Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition, despite my own “dramatic”life story and uber charismatic sassiness (I know, unbelievable!). But I’ve decided once and for all that it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands. I have tried a million program, diets, etc, but this time I’m determined to get rid of the fat suit once and for all through blood, sweat, and tears (preferably more sweat, less actual blood). My starting weight: 428 pounds. On July 12^th I started Weight Watchers. On July 16, 365 Days of Hell Began. 365 Days of exercising every day at least one hour, even though I’m a mother and wife, work full time, and go to school full time. No excuses!

Day 11
Accountability

I’m mostly back on track today, though I only cleaned today and didn’t exercise so I’m kicking myself a little (ouch that hurt).  I also want to have more veggies or NEED to anyway lol.

Past Confession

So don’t you just get perked up when someone says they are going to confess something?  Like you just know it’s going to be good.

Ok so here is something I will confess to food-wise.  When I worked at Select Health (though it was called Intermountain Health Care or IHC when I was there), I didn’t want people to see me eating anything unhealthy especially when I was supposed to be dieting lol.  (Oh that shame!)

So I would buy something from the downstairs café etc or get one of those giant pink cookies.  Then I would wrap it in napkins so as I walked you had no idea what it was (obviously I’m hiding broccoli in here people lol).  Then so no one would see me eat it, I would sneak into a bathroom stall (being careful not to touch anything gross).  So yeah, can you just picture this pathetic fatty sitting there chowing down on a giant pink cookie in the bathroom?  Sheesh!  And it was really hard thank you when someone came in.  I had to get all sneaky and try to chew really slowly and quietly.  Oh my. 

More confessions to come.  Peach out (or peace out as the saying really goes)

365 Days of Hell – Day 10

365 Days of Hell – Day 10

Recap:

My name is Holly Holt. I am a foodaholic (no applause please). I have been rejected thrice for the Biggest Loser and wasn’t chosen for Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition, despite my own “dramatic”life story and uber charismatic sassiness (I know, unbelievable!). But I’ve decided once and for all that it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands. I have tried a million program, diets, etc, but this time I’m determined to get rid of the fat suit once and for all through blood, sweat, and tears (preferably more sweat, less actual blood). My starting weight: 428 pounds. On July 12^th I started Weight Watchers. On July 16, 365 Days of Hell Began. 365 Days of exercising every day at least one hour, even though I’m a mother and wife, work full time, and go to school full time. No excuses!

Weigh-in Day

Time to pay the piper.  Yep up 2.5 lbs.  Oh well deal with it.  I’m so doing good from now on.

365 Days of Hell – Days 5-9

Recap:

My name is Holly Holt. I am a foodaholic (no applause please). I have been rejected thrice for the Biggest Loser and wasn’t chosen for Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition, despite my own “dramatic”life story and uber charismatic sassiness (I know, unbelievable!). But I’ve decided once and for all that it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands. I have tried a million program, diets, etc, but this time I’m determined to get rid of the fat suit once and for all through blood, sweat, and tears (preferably more sweat, less actual blood). My starting weight: 428 pounds. On July 12^th I started Weight Watchers. On July 16, 365 Days of Hell Began. 365 Days of exercising every day at least one hour, even though I’m a mother and wife, work full time, and go to school full time. No excuses!

Days 5-9

Okay what the hell!  I’m so mad at myself.  How could I have had such an awesome first week and then stop.  See this is my problem.  MOST humans do so good for weeks until they actually slip a little.  UGH!!!!  I kick myself hard and then I kick me again.

Accountability

Well today it’s time to pay the piper.  As they say on that horrible show that rejected me (which I totally watch lol)….the SCALE doesn’t lie (although don’t you think it does at times?)

Reflection

Ok, so at least you can learn from your mistakes, right?  So what went wrong?  I didn’t track as much – did it sort of half-assed.  Then that made me start doing everything that way.  So just follow the rules and all will be okay.

365 Days of Hell - 4/365

365 Days of Hell – Day Four 7/19/12

Recap:

My name is Holly Holt. I am a foodaholic (no applause please). I have been rejected thrice for the Biggest Loser and wasn’t chosen for Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition, despite my own “dramatic”life story and uber charismatic sassiness (I know, unbelievable!). But I’ve decided once and for all that it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands. I have tried a million program, diets, etc, but this time I’m determined to get rid of the fat suit once and for all through blood, sweat, and tears (preferably more sweat, less actual blood). My starting weight: 428 pounds. On July 12^th I started Weight Watchers. On July 16, 365 Days of Hell Began. 365 Days of exercising every day at least one hour, even though I’m a mother and wife, work full time, and go to school full time. No excuses!

Day 4 Weigh-in

Okay I’m stunned seriously.  I can’t even believe it.  I went in to weigh in today.  Granted, I went in the morning instead of evening like last week because I have Bonko tonight and it is the first week.  But still I never expected to lose 14 pounds!!!

Yeah, you read that right.  I lost 14 pounds!  Now I know I’m not going to lose this every week by any means.  The first week you lose a lot.

But holy cow what an affirmation seriously.

Me Happy!

Goals

EXERCISE:

Today is gonna be tough!  I have Bonko tonight so I gotta get my full workout in WAY before.

-Just had a really intense 30 minutes on the treadmill.  I had the incline up to 2.5 for almost the whole time and I even jogged a few minutes.  Very exciting and empowering feeling that sweat pore done and I’m just mentally cheering myself on going ‘You can do this’.  I have to say watching “Extreme Makeover:  Weight Loss Edition” really helps me stay motivated and work hard.  For my other 30 minutes I may do something on the Kinect just to split things up, get a different workout.

-This might be kind of cheating but I counted my cleaning as working out.  I feel good about it lol.

TRACKING: 

Checkmark!  Just gotta keep it up.  And pretty much I have the WW website up all day lol.

FEWER CARBS:

I’ve got to be really good – and it’s becoming tough.  I forgot my salads so I’m doing sandwiches which is more carbs than I wanted.  I still think though that if this week I do almost no carbs for breakfast and all snacks, I’m there.

Reflection

Disneyland!  So I’m just waiting for when Adam’s family is going to want to go to Disneyland.  Just yesterday Kim was saying Kiya just needs to grow one more inch to be able to go on every single ride.

Now Disneyland rides are actually pretty big – a lot bigger than Lagoon anyway.

The last time I went on those rides I think I was just over 300 and was ok on the rides.  So that is definitely something fun to look forward to.

It may sound really stupid and not that big of a deal, but its been years since I’ve been on a ride.  Knowing that you can’t do something because of you is horrible!  Its very upsetting and it makes you just want to change things. And I am.

365 Days of Hell: 3/365

365 Days of Hell – Day Three

Recap:

My name is Holly Holt. I am a foodaholic (no applause please). I have been rejected thrice for the Biggest Loser and wasn’t chosen for Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition, despite my own “dramatic”life story and uber charismatic sassiness (I know, unbelievable!). But I’ve decided once and for all that it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands. I have tried a million program, diets, etc, but this time I’m determined to get rid of the fat suit once and for all through blood, sweat, and tears (preferably more sweat, less actual blood). My starting weight: 428 pounds. On July 12^th I started Weight Watchers. On July 16, 365 Days of Hell Began. 365 Days of exercising every day at least one hour, even though I’m a mother and wife, work full time, and go to school full time. No excuses!

Isn't it worth it for my adorable baby:

Day 3

EXERCISE:

I am SO sore today.  But that is a really good feeling knowing I’ve been working hard.  Yeah baby.

-Adam (hubby) is actually going to work out with me tonight.  Woot!
-I haven’t yet exercised today and it’s driving me crazy lol.  Gotta get it in.  Sheesh am I getting obsessed?  LOL
-Ok seriously that was the hardest hour of my life lol.  I did 20 minutes on the treadmill first with a high incline to make sure I was really sweating.  My body is so not used to this much, so I figured for the last 40 I’d do one of the walking workout videos on Comcast On-Demand. Holy cow just kidding that it would be lower impact.  It seriously kicked my butt.  I kept having to yell “I can do this” but had to modify a couple of things.  It really helped a lot that Adam was on the treadmill with me!
Big point though is that it’s much easier to do some during the day early in the morning so it’s not so overwhelming at night.

TRACKING: 

Checkmark!

FEWER CARBS:

Going strong still!  But I have to admit I wanted nothing but toast this morning but I stuck to lower carb options.  Not having NO carbs, but just fewer.

Reflection

Today I’m thinking soccer.  Not sock her (don’t punch the lady next to you please!), but S-O-C-C-E-R, you know the sport.  And if you don’t think soccer is a sport, then I will sock you lol. 
But anyway I miss it!  I played soccer growing up as a young child.  I played a little after high school and even a few years ago I played for a couple of years, as urged by my friend Leslie (you rock).  So I played even when I was like 350.  And it seriously kicked my butt.
Soccer to me is just so much fun.  I love the social aspects and the competitiveness.  Actually I don’t’ really know what exactly it is, I just LOVE it!  I MISS it.
I remember there was this one chick that always beat us, no matter what team we were on or she was on.  I fondly called her ‘soccer bitch’.  As much as I pretended to hate her, she was awesome at soccer and was very healthy.
I WANT TO BE SOCCER BITCH.  Is it my life dream, well no, but I just want to do it!  I think it would be a good part of keeping me healthy forever more.  And it will just be FUN!!!
I’m so excited for Sammi to play soccer!  Soccer MOM!

Sammi Goofy Pic: 

(she is so funny!)

365 Days of Hell 2/365

365 Days of Hell – Day Two

Recap:

My name is Holly Holt. I am a foodaholic (no applause please). I have been rejected thrice for the Biggest Loser and wasn’t chosen for Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition, despite my own “dramatic”life story and uber charismatic sassiness (I know, unbelievable!). But I’ve decided once and for all that it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands. I have tried a million program, diets, etc, but this time I’m determined to get rid of the fat suit once and for all through blood, sweat, and tears (preferably more sweat, less actual blood). My starting weight: 428 pounds. On July 12^th I started Weight Watchers. On July 16, 365 Days of Hell Began. 365 Days of exercising every day at least one hour, even though I’m a mother and wife, work full time, and go to school full time. No excuses!

Day 2

Someone didn't do their hair!

EXERCISE:

I’m just lucky that Lisa is coming over soon to workout because I didn’t wake up early today.  We are going to do one of the Turbo Jam videos which are seriously killer!  But then tonight I will definitely need to do more.

-Holy cow that was a tough workout!  We did one of Jillian’s workouts.  Damn that girl is brutal.  I had to modify a couple of parts where she is jumping but we were both just sweating like crazy.

-Just did another 30 minutes working out on the Treadmill.  I can’t go super fast with my possible bone spur and plantar fasciitis, but I did an incline of 3.5 which is really high for me.  Yeah me!  Even though I’m tired, I just feel really strong and empowered.

-I wanted to do more tonight but I don’t want to kill myself off at once I guess lol.  I’ll do 2 hours tomorrow.  J

I’m sorry, but I have to say I rock!  But then again, now doesn’t count, it counts weeks from now if I’m still sticking to it!

TRACKING: 

You really have no excuse not to track.  The weight watchers online makes it SO easy.

-Ha I say that and I just realized I forgot to update from what I planned on having for dinner and what I ended up having (didn’t want to cook so I asked Adam to get Subway-there was also a little bit of an argument involved and me freaking out a little but I won’t bore you with the details lol)

FEWER CARBS:

Did I have low carb today?  Mostly, but again I believe in a balance so I didn’t have NO carbs. 

Reflection

Today I was watching Extreme Makeover:  Weightloss Edition.  I am so inspired by this show, but I’m so mad!  I will finally own up to it.  I’m really bitter I wasn’t chosen………here’s the scoop.  Let’s see if I can even remember the order of things.  I think four times I’ve tried out for the Biggest Loser.  The 3^rd time (if memory recalls), my sister Jen and I (sorry to call you out Jen, but just like mom said with my journal where I detailed every moment of our trip to California, ‘nobody is gonna read my dumb journal (insert blog here) anyway’) tried out for the Biggest Loser together.  Click here to see our audition video.  We thought we were going to be chosen as we had to keep sending videos etc, but sadly we weren’t chosen.  I was talked into going to the Salt Lake auditions after that, and then a couple of years ago the same casting company asked me to audition for Extreme Makeover:  Weight Loss Edition. 

I’m so pissed I wasn’t chosen!  You can’t even imagine how many damn videos I made for these people.  I mean I was signing release forms and everything.  And then again same ol’ story, wasn’t picked. People kept telling me to go audition again, send in more tapes.  I’m done with those bastards.  If Bob Harper or Chris Powell show up at my doorstep, then YES I will go on their damn shows, but at this point OBVIOUSLY whatever they want, I don’t have.  I’m sorry to say but that is mystifying to me!  I’m not a moron; I know they want what is good for TV.  And I have all of that.  I have the sad, dramatic background.  I have a sassy personality so I would make for good tv that way.  Also, not to brag, I’m not all that, but I wasn’t exactly beaten with the ugly stick.  I would look quite beautiful after losing all the weight (and I’m SO humble to boot lmao).  But seriously, the only thing I don’t have is that I’m not a twin or I’m not Hispanic or something.

So I’m pissed off!  I know I’ve said that like 500 times now but I guess maybe I kept it all inside like it didn’t bother me etc.  You have no idea how many papers, letters, emails etc that I have filled out.  And all of the movies – putting your heart and soul out there being exposed like that.  All the time, effort, and most of all the emotional stress that puts on you, and then not to be chosen at all?  I seriously think they need to come up with a better casting process and just put us out of our misery EARLY ON in the process.  So I kick you weight loss shows!!!  Screw you ALL because the truth is I DON’T NEED YOU ANYWAY.

Wow that was a very long rant!

So I’m just going to do on my own and once I get there, I’m going to help other hugely fat peeps like me, especially ones who were rejected from all these damn shows for fatties.  I seriously want to help others and show them that it is possible (harder than HELL, but possible ha ha hence the name 365 Days of Hell)

365 Days of Hell - A Strong Start!

365 Days of Hell – Day One

Recap:

My name is Holly Holt. I am a foodaholic (no applause please). I have been rejected thrice for the Biggest Loser and wasn’t chosen for Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition, despite my own “dramatic”life story and uber charismatic sassiness (I know, unbelievable!). But I’ve decided once and for all that it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands. I have tried a million program, diets, etc, but this time I’m determined to get rid of the fat suit once and for all through blood, sweat, and tears (preferably more sweat, less actual blood). My starting weight: 428 pounds. On July 12^th I started Weight Watchers. On July 16, 365 Days of Hell Began. 365 Days of exercising every day at least one hour, even though I’m a mother and wife, work full time, and go to school full time. No excuses!

Day 1

EXERCISE:

1 HR 15 minutes (1 hr treadmill, 15 min Dance Revolution)

AM:  It wasn’t as bad waking up as I thought it would be.  I made sure to wear my sleep apnea mask, as uncomfortable thing as it is, if I don’t wear it I’m even MORE tired than usual.

I watched the last half of Extreme Makeover:  Weight Loss Edition as I worked out.  Its kind of weird watching it, knowing I was asked to try out for it, but then wasn’t ultimately chosen for it.  But it was really motivating to me.  I really related to Nyla as she was only 10 pounds heavier than me, was stubborn, and had a parent commit suicide too.  More on that later….

I did the treadmill for one hour this morning.  I ignored my back and my foot the whole time and just sweated like a pig!  And I was walking at a pace most people warm-up at.  But I’m so proud of myself.  For 20 minutes I even had .5 incline lol.  Hey you gotta start somewhere.  Ku-DOS to me!

TRACKING: 

I did track everything!  Yeah me and I kept within my points.  Hoorah!

FEWER CARBS:

For breakfast I had eggs and for snacks I had nuts, hummus, veggies.  Tonight we had my stuffed green peppers with rice etc so that is where I had my carbs (besides the fruit etc)

Reflection

Excellent start!  I just need to keep on trucking full throttle.  I can do it.  It’s not easy but I just have to do it!  Oh joy in the first few days when you are so pumped and happy.  I am fully prepared for the times when I am grumpy as hell lol.

Introducing…….365 Days of Hell

Recap:

My name is Holly Holt.  I am a foodaholic (no applause please).  I have been rejected thrice for the Biggest Loser and wasn’t chosen for Extreme Makeover:  Weightloss Edition, despite my own “dramatic” life story and uber charismatic sassiness (I know, unbelievable!).  But I’ve decided once and for all that it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands. I have tried a million program, diets, etc, but this time I’m determined to get rid of the fat suit once and for all through blood, sweat, and tears (preferably more sweat, less actual blood).  My starting weight:  428 pounds.  On July 12^th I started Weight Watchers.  On July 16, 365 Days of Hell Begins.  365 Days of exercising every day at least one hour, even though I’m a mother and wife,  work full time, and go to school full time.  No excuses!

Here I Go A-G-A-I-N….

I’m back!  (Sheesh doesn’t she every give up????)  NO.  I’m doing it peeps, no matter how much I cry about it.  I’m getting up early tomorrow and exercising.  I’m excited for this change.  I know that’s just because it’s the beginning.  I fully know there are days I will hate it, hate exercise, hate everything and everybody, especially myself for starting something else.

But this time is different because I have to finish it.  One year.

A year will go by whether I do this or not.  I can be just as fat (or more eek) and miserable, or I can be closer to my goal.  Which one would you choose?

What’s The Plan Stan?

It’s simple actually.  Here are the rules:

• Follow Weight Watchers specifically:
• Track points/exercise
• Eat fewer carbs in morning & afternoon
• Exercise every day for at least an hour

Why?  I'm following Weight Watchers because I need to be held accountible.  I'm going to have very low carbs during the day etc up until dinner.  At dinner I can have carbs, but will stick to whole grains for the most part.  The low carb thing is because I know that works well for me.  But I'm certainly not doing NO CARBS because I know that isn't doable for me.  Not only could I not stick to the WIO diet because you drink your meals and I missed having any carbs at all, but I honestly feel you should be on something you can do your whole life.  a LIFE change.  I'm exercising so much because it's really not THAT much and I know my body responds well to that.  Basically I'm combining the pieces that worked for the bazillion diets I've tried.

But it won't be easy.  I know it will be hellish for this big body.  But my time for making excuses is over.  Hasta La Vista Fat Ass (ok not really.  Baby got back and I'm ok with that - just less back baby LMAO...ha ha literally)

And this isn't something with an end.  This is what I must do - be active and eat right.  Oh sure once I get to my ideal I won't need to work out an our every single day but I will still need to be very active to maintain it.