Getting my shit together

How many years have I been saying that?!!!  (Holy crap!  We are watching The Godfather for the first time and he just killed two cops right at the restaurant).  I’m sick of talking about it, just time to do it.

Friday I went to my department’s Lagoon day and just walked around getting depressed at all the rides I’m too fat to get on.  My poor coworker/friend Amy saw a little bit of Molly (my evil twin-what a bitch) that day.  The walking just nearly did me in – let alone having to stop the sky ride momentarily as they stuff me in it lol.  It’s just stupid living like this for the love of food. Ridiculous. 

So I’m grateful for that wake-up call and the exercise.  Today Sammi and I went to Seven Peaks Waterpark (formerly Raging Waters) and I got some good activity in as well.  I also lined up with my dad to start working out again finally.  It’s big-time bitches.  We are going swimming early and everything.  Oh man its gonna suck waking up earlier.

So I am worth it, and I need to remember that.  Just work at it every day and take it one day at a time.  Get healthy for me, Sammi, and Adam.

Dead Mom Letters #14

Dear Mom,

Beast Bugger bitch!  Ok yeah I know you taught me better than that, but you know Dad didn’t!  LMAO.  Sometimes I wonder though if that whole no swearing thing was an act though.  Did you really never swear Mom?  I mean kudos to you if you didn’t, but cursing just gives me this certain satisfaction I cannot even explain!    I know you did when you were really mad, but I wonder if you did when we were not around in every-day conversation.  I say that as a Mother now, because I get mad at Adam if he says ‘shit’ around Sammi and I emphasize how we don’t use those kinds of words.  But when Sammi is not around, shit, damn and hell are the pretty words Mom.  Damn, these are the conversations I wish we could have now Mom!

WEIGHT

I just can’t weigh myself Mom yet.  I can’t face that depression right now.  There is just too much going on right now.  But today I’m trying to make better choices and am logging all of my food on the MyFitnessPal. Oh Mom, it is s-u-c-h a different world now.  SO much technology.  There is an app for everything!  It’s all about Facebook and sexting now.   And I know it’s like I’m speaking Greek to you.  I would tell you to Google it, but even that is new.  All I know is that if cell phones had been invented when you were alive, I’m not sure we would have ever talked to you in person lol.  Oh Mom, you were a talker!  Love it.  I definitely know where I got that from.

SAMMI

Mom, she is such an angel!!!  I know you know this.  The things she says!  She is beautiful and sassy.  She was talking in the car to me, and she is so sassy, I have to be careful talking to her sometimes because she seriously gets pissed if she is playing with her fingers (what a fun game ha ha) and I interrupt her.  Sometimes I don’t know if she is talking to me or not.  She SO has that McAffee tempter Mom.  Holy Moly!  So I ask her what she said and she says very annoyingly “Mom, I am saying no words!”  Where does a two-year-old get that from?!!!

 

I am going nuts for her birthday party on the 14^th.  Way excited!  It is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse themed.  I simply can’t wait!  We just had her 3-year-old pics done.  And seriously she is the most adorable thing ever!  I may be fat as fuck, but I am very blessed!!!  Wonderful husband and baby.

Love,

Holly