Like Water for Chocolate

Diary of a Fat Woman:

Thursday, June 3 2010

*Funny People

• Google Mishaps: So have you ever googled anything at work at got results you did not expect? You know you are laughing because you know we all have! So today I was trying to find a movie to use as a title in my blog and I very naively googled 'fat chick movies'. Go ahead-try it. Just make sure its not at work! On a COMPLETELY unrelated note………hmmm how much money could I make doing porn movies at home? Ha ha just kidding. I so would NEVER do that. Although I have to tell you an Italian guy at the gym once told me I could make millions on the internet just showing my butt. So tempting! Ha ha jk.
  
• Dear Me, The fact that you worked out this morning is NEGATED by the 10 pieces of chocolate you have eaten today. Snap out of it!!!! No one can make me stop eating chocolate, not even me….I mean, only I can make me stop eating chocolate. (ha ha, sounds like smoker commercials)…
  

*Not Another Fad Diet – the Ugly Truth

Let's Get Physical

This morning Lisa and I went to Gold's. Wahoo I love Lisa to pieces! We were there 40 minutes, and I was able to do 35 (elliptical) which surprised me as its been a while and I'm just getting back into working out.

Wow its been a long time since I've been to that gym! Last night we went to sign up and I hate when they ask you if you want a trainer and try to talk you into it. I just know they are thinking 'Look fat ass you REALLY need this.' Ha. Just because I'm a whale doesn't mean I don't know how to work out. So much of the money I have earned has gone towards various trainers. Just because I don't DO it, doesn't necessarily mean I don't KNOW it. LOL I'm retarded.

My workout plan: I'm going to go in the mornings on Tuesday and Thursdays with Lisa. Adam and I will go Saturday, Sunday, and Wednesday nights. Then I will go about 3-5 times walking with my dad at night. I just seriously need to kick it into high gear.

5 PM: I so don't want to go walking tonight but I'm going to do it…….BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY AND SING WHILE I DO IT OR ANYTHING!

Eating: Hey a girls gotta eat. Today I had my weekly treat-whole wheat waffles. I had spray butter and light syrup. Hey I can deal with that-its less calories and still tastes yummy. (Quick name this movie………'And in the morning, I'm making waffles!') This is being real. You can't have egg white omelettes every morning. That's not real. So I'm keepin' it real (hmm what movie is that from? I'm sure it has to be from one) Sadly after that I stopped at McDonald's and got their Mocha drink. I don't even want to know how many calories that is. NO MORE. It was all I could do to not get more food. Uggh why is it such a comfort when I'm tired, overworked (basically ANY excuse) to eat fattening food? I gotta figure this out.

But I didn't get extra food, and minus the mocha, I'm doing pretty good. Although I haven't had any water yet. Whoops! (Good thing I'm writing this down because it makes me think)

Cravings today: (Stupid period….btw have you see that Always commercial where the chick ends with saying 'Have a happy period.'…….yeah I want to throw something at her whenever its on. Maybe I should see a therapist about my anger issues with commercials. The only one worse than that is Carl Jr's Bikini Burger commercial. Yeah, chicks who eat those huge burgers can fit into bikinis like that my ass!)

• Chocolate
  
• Hamburgers
  
• Fries
  
• More chocolate
  
• Even more chocolate
  
• Ice cream
  
• Donuts..mmmm donuts!
  

*The Family Stone

Interview with a Vampire

So Laurie has an interview today with good old IHC…….oops ok I know they are Select Health now…who can keep up with these things!!! GO LAURIE…GO LAURIE. I'm sending good vibes your way!

And speaking of vampires, Adam and I totally got her addicted to True Blood. Not drinking blood or anything, but the tv show. And just a word of warning to the squeamish or , well 'moral' people of the world-don't watch it. It's vampire porn practically at its finest. I would die if my grandmother ever watched it with us lol.

The Other Sister

So I'm a bad sister. I need to call Jen and see how she is. We are both Newlyweds which is so fun! She is so jealous about Hailey and Max……bwa ha ha ha ha ha! Just kidding! But I love those dang kids!

Wild Things

I stayed at work so late last night I didn't even get to see the kids! Maybe I'll have them walk with Poopa and I tonight if possible.

*Much Ado About Nothing

Holly Randomness….(because that's who I am folks)

Knocked Up

Yup still not pregnant. Still not trying. J One day soon though!

True Blood

So nervous for doctor's appointment tomorrow. My blood pressure and blood glucose are a concern. More tomorrow……….

The graduate

Gratz Briana!
I hear she has a scholarship. If I'm bored in your graduation just remember I still love you! I'm sublimely proud of my nieces and nephews. I have the best in da world!

Alive

So did you ever see that movie where they eat eachother to stay alive? I know I'm morbid (and not just morbidly obese ha ha ha), but seriously do you think you could do it? Or would you just starve? I think about it a lot…..

Rat Race

Ughhhh. I really do love my job, which I realize is not apparent. I'm preparing for an upcoming webinar, along with 10 other things at the same time. Good times! If Paul and I could just clone ourselves about 7 times things would be great!

• Whispers: Why is it when you hear someone whispering you want more than anything in the world to hear what they are saying? I don't know if I'm worried they are talking about me, or if it's more that I just want to know the juicy gossip. (In all actuality they are probably just asking someone for a tampon)