Monday, January 21, 2013

A Trip down Memory P-A-I-N


Chairs are a fat person’s enemy.

When you are a chubby person, chairs are so not your friend.  And you don’t really know it until you reach a certain level.  Kind of like when even my shadow was fat.  There are different levels of F-L-U-F-F-I-N-E-S-S.  You have to know what I’m talking about.  There is someone maybe 20 pounds overweight at the low spectrum – me at the higher spectrum but then someone 800 pounds who can’t get out of bed – so yeah levels.

…..It was years ago @ Salt Lake Community College when I realized chairs were not my friend.  I forget the class I signed up for.  I went fairly early on the first day as is my habit.  I walk into the classroom and there are about 15 students who had already arrived.  I smiled with them, exchanging pleasantries as I walked into the classroom – eagerly anticipating the semester.  I had no idea of the nightmare I was going to experience right then.

 I chose a seat near the back and went to sit on one of those desk-chair combo things.  You can’t imagine my surprise as I got stuck half-way down – my booty and belly being too much for that piece of furniture.  Not knowing what to do, I stood up and the chair/table came with me.  As I struggled to free myself, someone snickered and then every head in that room turned to witness my utter shame.  As I escaped that room, not a soul could look me in the eye.  Most people were laughing – the rest feeling sorry for me.  I ended up dropping school at that point.
I will defeat this!

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