How Did I Get Here?

I don’t remember choosing this

But I did!  For years I blamed everyone else, least of all myself.  But it is all me.  It really is.

One of my dearest friends was empathizing with me the other day about how hard it must be to work out at this weight, and it certainly is (Sadly the people who need to work out the most find it the very hardest!  But isn’t that how life is?) but I have no one to blame but myself.

My grandmother used to say “You ate it.”  Only now do I really understand the full meaning of that.

So no more will I put my hand into my usual bag of excuses-boo hoo my mother died or poor Holly’s father was incarcerated (we used to joke our lives were a country song-Mama’s in the gravehard, Papa’s in the pen).

Ok yeah there were times in my life that were pure HELL but who wasn’t had that?  We all have our own cross to bear.  And it made me who I am today.  

And how can I complain when I have a supportive and loving husband and amazing baby now.    They are my world.  So how about I start living in mine!  NOW.  Forget the past – forgive my mistakes and LET IT GO!  Move on little doggie.

It comes down to this – do I want to stay in this miserable meat suit with all the back, knee, and heel problems that hold me back from everything I want, or do I CHOOSE LIFE!!!  I dream of riding roller coasters with Sammi and playing soccer with her and going river-rafting.  I will enjoy life to the fullest!