Were You One?
I actually didn’t have a bad body image
until sixth grade. I wasn’t really overweight up until
that point. I had pretty slim waist and
arms, but was big hipped and a big ol’ booty!
(I am pretty infamous for my shelf-butt-like
seriously my toddler Sammi can sit on it).
Some boys started picking on me – it was
a rough year for me because I developed pretty early for that day and age and
was battling all the womanhood “blessings”.
I had the nerdy coke-bottle glasses that made my eyes like 3 times their
normal size. Nerd Alert! So they started tormenting me about my
caboose.
Hippo in Tights
Then in dance
class I started noticing a difference between the other girls and
myself. I was a whole lot taller, but I
was so much bigger the bottom half of me than any of them. Yet I was
completely healthy! I inherited
bigger legs from my mom – they were even muscular from all my bike-riding and
soccer playing (this was well before the X box era) I need to find a picture of
me in this blue leotard though and I was seriously the skinniest I have ever
been in my entire life! But compared to these naturally size 0 girls, I felt like such
a heifer!
How sad is that! I wish they could teach things like that in
school – how to be happy with who you are and having good self-esteem because I
stressed over that the rest of my school years.
Especially when I actually did start gaining weight.
There was a lot of ‘bullying’ that I
was subjected to when I walked home from junior high for example. It was pretty horrible to be
honest. It breaks my
heart to think of other kids going through this right now for being different
whether its because they are larger, have a big nose, or whatever it may
be. All joking aside, I would love to
maybe after this journey talk to kids about self-esteem and believing in themselves.
Lessons Learned
Come to think of it, I still have these
issues, and it’s worse now because I actually am “Morbidly Obese” (too bad you can’t hear my voice how I say that!)
And it’s funny because as a heavy
person you get sad a lot about it, and what do you do when you are sad? You eat, therefore making the problem worse!
But I’m on the right path and I’m so
happy about that. I’m not perfect and
that’s okay. I am sticking to it and
that is what counts. And I’m getting
more happy about things! I’m not so mad
about things I can’t have. I’m realizing
my dreams are WAY more important than my CRAVINGS/URGES.
I continue this journey with my head
held up high because I know I can do it.
2 comments:
I know you are on the right track when you talk about stuff like this. I know a lot of therapy sessions have involved talking about your mom and how that's affected your weight but I think it goes way deeper than that. Your moms passing just added onto it.
So keep on keeping' on!
I think you are so right!
Self-reflecting helps me work through stuff for sure. Amazing how "mental" this journey is. It's much more complicated than "I'll just eat healthy and exercise!"
Post a Comment