Sunday, June 30, 2013

Soul Searching


Sometimes you have to do some real soul-searching to figure out what you really want.

I think I sabotage myself, especially when I’ve been doing really good – I use whatever excuse possible to (expletive) it all up.

It’s hard being a giant blob lol.  But the worst part is that it is all your own fault.  I mean it is literally.  No one to blame but yourself and Dunkin’ Donuts (jk they don’t FORCE you to eat their donuts or anything).  Like my Grandma used to say “You ate it!”

So you can imagine how hard it is to think positive about yourself sometimes.  I mean I do. I think I am a good Mom and a good person, but obviously I have control issues.  I’ve let food get the best of me and that is a big weakness and I hate weaknesses.  I’m not saying I hate myself sheesh.

I think I just need to understand better that I deserve to be happy! I deserve this.

I want to feel better about myself.  I want to be more happy and healthy.  I want to not have to worry about seats I can’t fit into and trying to find clothes my size.

1 comments:

Our Dowland Journal said...

Love you, holly:) you are not the circumstances surrounding you. You are an unbelievable light that has helped so many, including me. What would have ever done without you all those years ago in Tejas:) ? Hidden under my covers, that's for sure.
You need to find some peace, wherever that may be. (though I do have a suggestion:)) you'll find it if you remember who you are.
Miss you do much.

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