What in the name of sanity!

Well I haven’t been blogging proper for SO many days.

Sometimes when I’m down I am not keen on blogging – who wants to add more negativity to the world, eh?

When I’m not my goofy self, what am I offering?  I guess I’d rather add humor to one’s day than be seen as a hugely pathetic object.

One thing I do have to say for myself is that I haven’t quit.  When I have fallen down, I have gotten up and hell if that isn’t progress!

I had somewhat of a ‘break-down’ recently.  Oh dear heaven thank you for Adam.  He pretty much has a free ride back with you all for putting up with my shenanigans! 

And I feel bad too because I am so blessed and have Adam and Sammi.  What right have I to be depressed…but yet at times I find myself pulled into that sad darkness.

I start to feel listless and without purpose.  The road before me seeming ever so long – each step a pain like I have ever known and yet push on I know I must.  The painful path goes on for days, as if I will never escape it.  And I keep finding myself having following the exact opposite path in error for miles upon miles, and I it feels I lack the energy to retrace my steps and start anew.  Of these hundred miles, I have walked the first 10 for years, over and over until the tears spill again quite freely.

…..oh enough bizarre blubbering!  Everyone has their cross to bear.  We have good jobs – we make a good living.  My daughter is beautiful and intelligent I have all the other aspects of my health.

I can make this better!  And it isn’t easy and I can’t take back all the years I super screwed up.  Focus on the things I want and how I keep getting closer to it!