Dead Mom Letters #4 - July 89 (Obituary)

Well hello dear Mom,

WEEKEND:

You know how I told you that I could really use a huge hug sometimes?  Well that is so true this weekend and I can’t even talk about it as it is work-related.  I guess that is the one lame thing about a blog versus a journal.  But I look at my two boxes of journals and I think holy hell no mas! 

Last night I couldn’t sleep.  My mind was just blown away with some stuff.  And then I started thinking about my weight.  Now actually I have lost weight this week by some miracle.  So this is good.

Last Week’s Weight:  453

This Week’s Weight:  446.4

Well that is 6.6 pounds!  Way exciting.  But I decided it’s time to get extreme.  So last night I was thinking about weight loss surgery again, for hours.  But I’m still not ready to go that extreme quite yet.  So the other thing I was thinking of was the WIO diet again for 6 months.  It is extreme and SO hard for me to follow, but it’s healthy and not cutting into me like the surgery.  I just need to get off a lot of weight quickly so we can have another baby.

July 1989 – The Casket

So in continuing to tell you about how life was for me after you left....let's continue with a few days after. .......

Can I just say that it is pretty weird when your family owns a mortuary?  I mean, its not like its dad or anything and its in our house.  But it is still so weird.  Every time we go there when someone in the family dies, and you see the same people, some you haven’t in hears and it is bittersweet.  So fun to see them but an awful situation.  Plus, my morbid personality can’t help but think this is where I will be one day……….

So I remember going into Uncle Dale’s office and writing up the obituary.  It was all still feeling so surreal.  Then it was time to pick the casket.  We ended up in different groups of 2.  And its funny because we all picked the same rose one.  We all ended up there admiring it, and then Laurie came up and said that you told her that you wanted that one.  Wow.  I think you visited her a lot during that time.  Will you ever visit me Mom?  Of course I have felt you several times….oh this is from Sammi  “I love you Grandma Susan”.  Okay I have to interject and tell you this story Mom real quick.  Your painting that James did – I was telling her about you so she would often say hi to you.  So then she says one day “Grandma Susan, that is my mom.  Mom, that is my wall grandma!”

How cute is that!  I like to think you were watching right then and just beamed at that!

 

Well that is how it went – I’ll tell you about the funeral next time.