Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Dead Mom Letters #6 - 1989 The Funeral

Dear Mom,

Did I tell you how much I hate pizza commercials Mom?  I would almost commit murder for a fattening pizza right now.  Hee hee, just kidding Mom.  Don’t call the police.  I think I am a serious negative nelly today.  I just hate E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.  You know those days where you can’t even really fake your smile.  That is pretty rare for me.

Welcome to my pity party!  Just don’t bring any frieakin’ pizza cuz I can’t eat any lol.  Remember when Jen used to call me Holly Bolly.  I guess it was earned.

The WIO Plan


So the diet……oh my hell.  I don’t remember it being THIS hard.  Yes, I remember quitting and it was tough, but I thought that was because I had done it for so long.  Last time I remember being really pumped up the first day.  The first week is tough though.  You don’t get the low carb snacks yet so it’s 3 protein shakes and then a protein meal and veggies.  But then I remember how good you were when you were on slim fast and when you had gastric bypass.  You really stuck to it, so I know I can do it too!  Oh mom, shower me with your strength and love right now! (And yes I know I’m acting like I’m 4 years old and sick.)

Mom did you ever get that icky feeling in your stomach when you are being healthy.  Hell listen to me - that is pretty comical.  Literally every time I’m eating healthy foods – clean foods, protein and veggies – and I mean ONLY that, I get this really unsettled feeling in my stomach.  It does not feel good.  Why is that?  Am I really so used to crappy foods?!  Sheesh.

1989 – The Funeral

I don’t remember all the details of the funeral Mom.  It was so surreal.  It was like someone took me out of my life and placed me another world and I had no idea what was going on and just wanted everything back to normal.

We got mug refills on the way to the viewing and at first we hesitated, but then we realized there was no better tribute to you then bringing Diet Coke.  (I probably should’ve snuck one in your casket).  Is there Diet Coke in heaven Mom?  I really hope so for your sake Mom!  If there wasn’t before, I bet there is now.

We tried to sing us girls, but we were all crying so much we couldn’t make it.  Mom, you would’ve cried to see all the people who came for you.

And everyone knew what we all knew about you Mom.  Every single person there told us how much they loved you.  How much your smile radiated and how you made them feel so special. 

You made a difference Mom.  Oh I want to do the same Mom.  I gotta get out of this fat body and start living my life.  So I just need to stick to it!!!  It’s funny, writing to you, I feel stronger like you are there for me (duh of course you are!)

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