Did I tell you how
much I hate pizza commercials Mom? I
would almost commit murder for a fattening pizza right now. Hee hee, just kidding Mom. Don’t call the police. I think I am a serious negative nelly
today. I just hate
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. You know those days
where you can’t even really fake your smile.
That is pretty rare for me.
Welcome to my pity
party! Just don’t bring any frieakin’
pizza cuz I can’t eat any lol. Remember
when Jen used to call me Holly Bolly. I
guess it was earned.
The WIO Plan
So the diet……oh my
hell. I don’t remember it being THIS
hard. Yes, I remember quitting and it
was tough, but I thought that was because I had done it for so long. Last time I remember being really pumped up
the first day. The first week is tough
though. You don’t get the low carb snacks
yet so it’s 3 protein shakes and then a protein meal and veggies. But then I remember how good you were when
you were on slim fast and when you had gastric bypass. You really stuck to it, so I know I can do it
too! Oh mom, shower me with your
strength and love right now! (And yes I know I’m acting like I’m 4 years old
and sick.)
Mom did you ever get
that icky feeling in your stomach when you are being healthy. Hell listen to me - that is pretty
comical. Literally every time I’m eating
healthy foods – clean foods, protein and veggies – and I mean ONLY that, I get
this really unsettled feeling in my stomach.
It does not feel good. Why is
that? Am I really so used to crappy
foods?! Sheesh.
1989 – The Funeral
I don’t remember all
the details of the funeral Mom. It was
so surreal. It was like someone took me
out of my life and placed me another world and I had no idea what was going on
and just wanted everything back to normal.
We got mug refills
on the way to the viewing and at first we hesitated, but then we realized there
was no better tribute to you then bringing Diet Coke. (I probably should’ve snuck one in your
casket). Is there Diet Coke in heaven
Mom? I really hope so for your sake Mom!
If there wasn’t before, I bet there is
now.
We tried to sing us
girls, but we were all crying so much we couldn’t make it. Mom, you would’ve cried to see all the people
who came for you.
And everyone knew
what we all knew about you Mom. Every
single person there told us how much they loved you. How much your smile radiated and how you made
them feel so special.
You made a
difference Mom. Oh I want to do the same
Mom. I gotta get out of this fat body
and start living my life. So I just need
to stick to it!!! It’s funny, writing to
you, I feel stronger like you are there for me (duh of course you are!)
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