A good day......

RGGGGHHH!

Sheesh, why is it when you are eating healthy and staying within a certain ‘caloric limit’ that thereby ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS FOOD!  For crying out loud!  I’m trying to pour myself into work and planning activities to do tonight, but really my mind is cycling through pictures of chocolate sauce drizzling over ice cream atop a warm chocolate-frosted brownie or imaging biting into a homemade slice of carrot cake, VERY generously frosted with cream cheese frosting.  Oh hell my mouth is watering!  Oh Jim Gaffigan I think you are right.  Food really can be as powerful and delightful as sex.

What do normal people dream about (probably not chocolate like me ha ha)?  Oh how I want to bike with Sammi and play soccer again of course, but those rich and chocolaty sweets are sure damn powerful!

And who the hell (oops might get struck here) decided that all the fattening food would be so gloriously tasty and all the healthy food, well are like carrots????  I demand to know the reasoning behind this – the logic involved for I OBJECT!!!!  Nothing against carrots, but they sure as hell don’t taste as good as chocolate.  Probably the same person who created the 40 hour work week no doubt!

Are you starting to see my problem lol.  It’s in the HEAD.

I firmly believe that if you can figure out what your exact issue is then you can overcome it right?  I mean it makes sense.  I know that through my trials, food was a reward that I gave myself when sometimes life was rather miserable.  It gave me some momentary pleasure at least.  But you do that for so long, and it just becomes a horrible habit.

But I can’t figure it out now.  I used to think back when I was single that I was lonely and that is why I ate.  But what about now?  I have the most adorable child and an amazing husband.  We have a home and don’t really struggle much financially.  So why when I try so hard is there a part of me that sabotages me?!!!
Oh I long for Friday when the doc will hopefully give me more phentermine as that really helps me control my insane urges.

LATERZ………………………

Just got back from swimming with my dad.  I was so damn grumpy I almost didn’t go. 

Dragging this fat ass around is TOUGH lol.  I’m just laughing at how silly that sounds.
But you know, I’m really proud that I went!  Yeah me.  It was a really good day and I have an appointment Friday afternoon with the doc so hopefully I get my phentermine again.