Saturday, August 30, 2014

My letter to Chis Powell.....


Chris,

You are truly one of my heroes in life.  You have given so many deserving people a second chance at life, making it your life’s mission!  I look into those deep blue eyes, and even though it’s through the television (ha ha), I feel like I can see directly into your soul.  Chris, it amazes me the love, the honest-to-goodness empathy you have for these people who were mere strangers.  You aren’t all about making money off some show, you really CARE about helping people, and it’s incredible!

I would give my left arm to have that awesome privilege to gain from your expertise, your experience (like you’ve said, this ain’t your first rodeo).  Oh Chris, everyone is so deserving of your gift and has had insurmountable trials and tribulations.  How could I dare expect you to choose me from the thousands?  I know you would help us all if you could.

I guess to gain your heart, I’d need to share my own story – I know you have heard similar Chris.  I should tell you how my beloved mother took her own life when I was 14.  I know you could imagine the devastation that brought on.  My dad’s later incarceration was no trivial matter either.

Oh Chris, I’ve been on more diet programs than I care to admit.  I am nearing 500 pounds and have recently lost 12, but I admit I am terrified, because it isn’t just about me anymore.  I was married four years ago to the most amazing and supportive man, who saw more than just my fat ass.  He truly loves me, and we were blessed with one of God’s angels – Sammantha (we call her Sammi) 3 years ago.

I just have to lose all this weight Chris.  Keeping up with Sammi just takes everything out of me.  This big body is falling apart on me, and I need the energy to keep up with her!  I also want her to have everything in life – I can’t stand for her to lose out on anything just because of my weaknesses.  I can barely keep up taking her to normal activities like the aquarium, or the zoo, hiking or other more strenuous outings are completely out of the question!  She will want to go to Disneyland soon, and I want to be on those rides with her, not sitting miserable looking on – ashamed and wishing I could join. 

Chris, we have been trying for one more little blessing – I feel that soul just begging to come down, but this time the pregnancy is just not happening.  I’m devastated to think that the fact that I can’t bring my husband another kid, a sibling for my Sammi, that it is my fault.  I’m 39, so the clock is ticking fast!  How could I live with the fact that I couldn’t make our family complete because of my own weaknesses.  It’s more than I can bear.

Life is just pure misery when you are close to 500 pounds Chris.  I can definitely see how people give up and end up not getting out of bed and end of 800 pounds.  I’m terrified that will be me.  I can NOT let that happen.  I can’t because my family NEEDS me. 

I want my life back Chris.  I want to be able to run and keep up with Sammi.  I would love to play sports again – I have a passion for soccer and volleyball.  I don’t want anything to hold me back in life – and this big meatsuit definitely is.  More than anything, once I got the weight off, I would love to help other people do it too!  I want to make a difference in this world Chris, just like you do!   I would love it if you found it in your heart to give that to me incredible chance!

Holly
 
(If I were to send one, this is what I would send)

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