Feeling the power!

I don’t mean to be a drug pusher, and please know I am SO aware of the side effects of Phentermine.  But honestly, I feel the risk is MUCH less than weight loss surgery (and who knows I may need wls one day-nothing wrong with getting help).

But today I feel so amped up!  I feel powerful.  There was just pizza in the break room and normally I’d be running (ok more like waddling quickly) to partake, but it wasn’t even a temptation.  Coworkers bring back their burgers or tacos, and I am just fine with my chicken, rice, and veggies.  Honestly, I don’t feel like a rabbit or anything!  And I’m not even thinking about food all day and LIVING for it lol.  This is such a HUGE change for me when I used to live for the next deliciously fattening food I could stuff in my mouth.

My mind has actually been thinking about workouts I could do etc when I don’t want to go to the gym or swim at the recreation center.  There are tons of videos I have and have neglected to use AND there are tons of workouts on Comcast On-demand.

I just have to be careful not to overdo it and go slow.  I’m not as mobile as I was even 30 pounds ago, but I can already tell a slight difference in walking – it doesn’t kill me quite as much lol.  Only MOSTLY dead ha ha ha.

Tonight I’m going to do one of Leslie’s walking workouts.  I can’t wait until I can do more of it!

I am determined to do this for ME.  Well and for all the other reasons of course.  I want another baby, and I know I couldn’t live with myself knowing it never happened just because I couldn’t control myself.  Sammi is such an amazing blessing in our lives, and we really feel like Ivan is up there just waiting to come down.  Hold on little man, just a little while longer!

Though I have to say it is strange, thinking of another.  I just love Sammi so much.  Of course I would love Ivan just as much, right?  Oh I don’t want to secretly have a favorite etc.  Well such a silly concern anyway.  I was looking in a catalogue last night thinking of Christmas ideas and I kept seeing little toys for boys, and I just felt my heartstrings being tugged at.  I long for you Ivan!  I imagine what appreciation and what joy I will have when you are at last in my arms.  And that makes me more happy than I can even adequately express.

So worth it.  Worth the pain and effort involved in this process.  So worth the time in preparing healthy foods and such.  I can’t imagine life without Sammi, and I now can’t imagine it without one more little blessing. 

My precious angel: